Frustration

A place of peace is what we create. Our serenity is made only by us. We are in control of what we let be close to us and what we have to push away. Only we can discover who we really are. Where we belong is not dictated by someone opening a door for us, but rather by us deciding that where we need to be is exactly where we are. Where we want to be can be reached by our own ability to chart and navigate that journey that is ours and only ours.

Seems easy enough...

As much as I know this, as much as I believe this, and as much as I try as hard as I can to practice this, I still struggle...alot. I feel disjointed at times. It's easy to hold on to much anger and not know how to move past it enough so that the same sorts of themes don't keep resurfacing. I think I talk myself into, while acknowledging the baggage I do have, minimizing it in terms of not letting it apply to a new situation. But, this is me! I'm not perfect. I've got issues just like everyone else. Try as I might to not let some things of the past creep into my present, they are still fresh wounds sometimes and are a part of who I am right now.

I dont like feeling unsettled. I dont like feeling angry. I dont like feeling like I am having to deny or minimize what is my reality. I dont like feeling waves of negativity - anger, frustration, hurt - wash over me seemingly out of nowhere. I dont like feeling like it's one-sided even in the slightest. I WANT a compromise or negotiation to feel fair.

...frustrated...