Circle

Just over three days and counting. I am feeling a cosmic pull or sorts. This trip has evolved from a fantasy to a reality full of questions, doubts, and technicalities, to a trip of professional opportunity and some personal, to an extremely deeply personal journey - a quest, a calling, a spiritual awakening, however, not in a religious sense.

A friend of mine told me about an annual event that took place on his reservation - a calling home of all the warriors (individuals who had been lost from the reservation). As an adopted individual, he was among those warriors being called home. This calling the lost warriors home takes place every year until all of them are back home. I think that's such a beautiful thing. I now have this feeling of being called home as I get ready to embark on this incredible journey.

I received a card in the mail today from some long time family friends who have known my sister (also adopted Korean) and me for most of our lives. Of the extremely sweet gesture of sending me off with a message of love and support, one line stuck out to me: "I feel honored to watch you on this journey from the time you were quite young - to the return today you have come full circle."

Full circle...Full circle...Full circle...

Life takes so many twists and turns. It's filled with an awesome range of emotions and experiences that span from intense pain and agony to the purest of joy, happiness and love. Sometimes I think it's quite unbelievable just what it is our bodies, minds, and souls endure - the crap we can make it through and the greatness that seems to continue to carry us forward. When I think about the various experiences I have had in life, I feel as if they are circular journeys that will eventually come around and the end will meet the beginning. Perhaps this is a simplistic way to view what are no doubt highly complex systems that spin and spin and spin as we make our way through this thing called life. In my own experiences, upon reflection, I feel that in some ways I have come full circle as I continue to navigate the various life highways, roads, paths, and routes that have no paths but lots of tall grass, biting flies, snakes, and mud. Each experience to me is its own complete package - some more delightful than others of course, but each one unique and full of lessons to be learned, and sometimes lots of bandaids for those rougher patches. And of course some with no bandaids at all - not even a safety net or warning sign! Regardless, it's still a whole and complete experience and each of those experiences has shaped who I have become as I've continued to evolve into who I am today and who I will be in all of the tomorrows still headed my way.

In three days and counting, I will begin the last stretch of this particular life circle as I am being pulled home. No matter what I find out or dont find out about my beginnings, just being in and on the land that I came from is enough to complete this missing piece. My searching roots will finally find the soil they came from and When I Touch the Land in Korea, I will indeed have come full circle to my beginning.