Thursday, July 29, 2010

My Body Remembers


Like a geode rock whose beautifully wonderous center is revealed only after years of erosion or a single shattering crack of a rock hammer. Like the mountains and the prairies, the lakes and the rivers, and even our own bodies - underlayers and innerlayers revealed more and more after years of weathering, enduring extremes, and the shedding away of old skins as the years go by. Like a well-worn path whose gravel core reveals itself after many wanderers have traveled its course. And like a mother's womb, I have held you inside and nourished this thing that I could not see, yet I could feel you ever present each day of my life.

As the years have gone by and my skin has shed layers and my body and mind have evolved and endured the extremes and been shaped by the weather, and as my core has become more exposed, I am releasing you into the world - that which I have held inside for 32 years. You have been a part of me. Your beginnings developed inside of me and I have carried you over the roughest terrain, through the harshest of conditions, and into blissfully peaceful lands. Now you are beginning to emerge and as you stand outside of me, but still very much connected to me through the strongest of emotional ties - ties that will never be broken - together we prepare to walk this path.

Memories of my land, my ancestors, my people, my home. Memories of my birth family and my birth mother. Memories of being separated from my birth mother, the orphanage, and the experiences I had for the first six and a half months of my life. Memories of getting ready to come to Minnesota and memories of needing to wait another two months because of a full plane. Memories of the final plane ride. Memories of leaving my land, my ancestors, my people, my home. Memories of being welcomed into forever loving arms. Finally. Arms that would love me and never let me go. Forever arms - forever hugs, forever comfort, forever safety and security, forever love. Memories...

...Memories...


I have held these memories inside my body. And in a symbolic birthing of what has been inside me for so long, they have emerged at the surface and are radiating from my core. I will forever hold these memories and they will forever hold me, but their emergence is coming as I am being called back home. At the very least, this thing that originated inside of me, that I have carried, and that is now being birthed, at the very least it all will be reunited, reconnected, reacquainted, and remembered by where it all began.

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